2 weeks old

Joseph is now 2 weeks old and today Lucy celebrated her 5th birthday. What have I done? I'm going to have such expensive summers from now on, there's Leila's birthday 27th July, Joseph's 9th August and Lucy's 24th August, 3 birthdays in 4 weeks!!! And my eldest daughter's birthday is in June too.

Little Joseph is doing fine, his jaundice has almost gone, fingers crossed it will be gone completely when the midwife comes on Friday. He's going through a bit of a growth spurt at the moment seeing as he is hungry all the time. At least he's sleeping a little better at night. He looks so tiny in his crib, and I thought his crib looked tiny before he arrived. You forget how small they are when they are born.

I'm healing more each day but still not completely recovered. I hate not feeling myself and not being able to do things still, (like lifting and stretching) I get really frustrated and tearful, although that's probably down to hormones as well.

The last couple of days I've really missed being pregnant, crazy I know, but I'm sad because I know I will never be pregnant again. I was so looking forward to giving birth and even though the section wasn't a bad experience I can't help feeling I've missed out. I missed the excitement of going into labour and giving birth, I keep telling myself that the safety of my baby and myself is most important, and I've even tried to convince myself that it was likely to have been a problematic birth with my fibroids even if he hadn't been breach. But I still feel sad. I guess I'll just have to get over it, Joseph is here now and that's what is important.