So how did Christmas go in our household?
First up we all got sick in the weeks before. Leila started straight after her school disco party and ended up missing the rest of the week off school, including her Christmas Dinner, Christmas party and a trip to visit Santa at the farm. Lucy managed to stay well until the last day and only missed her Carol Concert. Joseph made it to his Christmas party but missed the last two days at school (which meant absolutely no FREE time for me to finish off any Christmas shopping and preparations) Of course I was poorly throughout. I kept plodding on the best I could but I was going to bed with the kids in the evening and getting very little done throughout the day because I felt so bad. Dad was poorly too and so were Big brother and sister, but they seemed to recover pretty quickly and were not as bad as the rest of us.
Me and the girls managed a trip to the theatre to see the Gruffalo's Child on the day before Christmas Eve. I was feeling dreadful but we still had a good time, the girls loved the show (And so did I)
Then Christmas day suddenly arrived. I really could have done with it being a week later, but sick or not I was still fully prepared. (What would I have done in the days before internet shopping/home delivery?)
I was awake at 6am but not anyone else!! The girls finally stirred about 7am so I woke everyone else up too. And we all got up except big sis. The present opening frenzy began, thank goodness for Santa, hey, I don't know if mummy could have provided so many lovely wrapped presents.
The girls and Joseph were totally thrilled with their presents, really excited but also just happy, not stressing out or anxiousness or arguing, they were lovely. The big kids were fairly happy with their presents, they did get what they wanted after all, (just not many surprises) My presents were not good, but I was too sick to feel disappointed. I much more of a giver than a receiver anyway so I won't complain.
So on to dinner! I'd got everything prepped and ready by late morning and the turkey was in the oven. But! The big kids did not want a Christmas lunch, the earliest they would go for was 5pm. At first I was frustrated, I wanted it earlier, get it out of the way and chill for the evening. However, it worked out well though because I could take things easy and I wasn't on my feet all day in the kitchen.
I really expected at least one meltdown or argument during the day but it all went really well. Big son (Aspie) was brilliant with his little sister (ASD) they are so on the same wavelength. He kept her happy and occupied all day, helping her out all the time so she didn't get frustrated (i.e. opening boxes, setting up toys) He even played a Barbie board game with the girls. The Little Man was really happy with his new toys and played peacefully all day. Dad spent a lot of time at his mum's house (neighbour) but he also helped out a lot so I'm not going to complain.
Dinner was really yum. I made no exceptions, everyone had the same, even Lucy who has a limited diet and refuses to try anything new. Most plates were empty afterwards (apart from Lucy but she did try) Leila discovered she loved sprouts :-) She definitely is her mother's daughter! And Big Sis made no complaints either, and trust me, she HAS to complain about everything on her plate usually.
So that was our Christmas day.
On to New Years Eve. We hadn't planned anything but the usual routine is that I make a buffet style dinner and we have a few drinks before scoffing loads of cheese and biscuits and other treats. We had to pop to the supermarket and I suggested to Dad that we could invite a couple of people over if I bought a little more buffet food. We made a couple of phone calls but it was a bit late in the day and the 'no' replies were expected. Then we had call backs saying ok they'd be up later.
I still wasn't feeling well but I just didn't care any more, I wanted a drink and some fun. So that's what I did. Family and friends arrived and we all had a lovely evening. Leila and Joseph decided they'd had enough about 10pm and went to bed like little angels. Lucy stayed up until midnight and saw in the New Year with us. We always finish the evening by going outside with the neighbours and viewing the fireworks.
And New Years Day? I felt better than I had done in weeks, no hangover, no illness, nothing!
Happy New Year xx
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Saturday, 5 January 2013
Wednesday, 26 September 2012
Overwhelmed!
By generosity!
I'm collecting old mobile phones in return for an ipad to help my daughter Lucy. Today I received a package for 89 phones!! What a boost, I'm now more than half way there.
I've had lots of promises too, so hopefully this task is not going to be so long to achieve as I first thought. Of course there is still a long way to go, but I am overwhelmed by the generosity of some people. Thank you so so much!
Heart and Minds is a charity which helps turn old mobile phones into ipads for children with autism. They also help schools and are currently working towards opening a school specifically for autistic children.
Having an ipad could help Lucy's communication, learning, organisation, fine motor skills, relaxation and behaviour. It would be a welcome addition to our home. If you can help in any way by donating your old mobile phone then please contact me okesanne (@) gmail.com or on Twitter @okesanne. Thank you so much!
Heart and Minds is a charity which helps turn old mobile phones into ipads for children with autism. They also help schools and are currently working towards opening a school specifically for autistic children.
Having an ipad could help Lucy's communication, learning, organisation, fine motor skills, relaxation and behaviour. It would be a welcome addition to our home. If you can help in any way by donating your old mobile phone then please contact me okesanne (@) gmail.com or on Twitter @okesanne. Thank you so much!
Tuesday, 4 September 2012
Back To School!
yesterday the girls went back to school. Leila into year 1, Lucy into year 3. In my day it would have Junior school!!.
The night before Lucy was anxious, refusing to go to school, refusing to go to sleep and generally being miserable and moody. yesterday morning, however, she was really excited and looking forward to going back. Dad got up and came with us so the girls got to ride their scooters to school.
Leila had to have two kisses and a cuddle before she left me but she was ok, not upset or anything. Lucy gave me a quick kiss on request and was a little tentative entering the school, but not too bad at all. I missed them all day and couldn't wait to pick them up, It was lovely to see them come out of school bubbly, happy and chatty...even Lucy!
Then after a couple of hours at home Lucy got moody again. Still she was very tired so we put it down to that and took them to bed. She wouldn't go to sleep again, insisting that she had to read first, then asking for the night light off when she has always had it on. Eventually she fell asleep but was up again at 5am.
She was moody again this morning and totally un co-operative. She wouldn't get washed or dressed for me, I ended up having to help her. She then had a tantrum because she wanted to take her scooter again, but I can't manage them on my own as I have the pushchair. (Dad was too tired to get up today)
On the way to school she finally told me what was bothering her. when they do p.e they have a timer with a buzzer that goes off at 5 mins. Anyone not ready in that time has to miss p.e. Lucy cannot get changed in 5 minutes, it's more like 15-20 minutes. She has poor co-ordination and concentration, getting dressed is a real trial for her, even though she is capable. It took us a long time to teach her to undress and dress so to us it's an achievement that she can actually do it. We don't try to make her do it quicker.
I've told her I will have a word with her teacher. I know that up until now she's been given a little longer than the others to get dressed. I've also told her that we will practice changing at home to see if we can get her to do it any quicker. She wasn't too pleased with that :/
Then it got me thinking. She's 7 years old now and it's starting to be more noticeable that she's not quite like the other children at school. It won't be long before the other children pick that up, if they haven't already. She does need to be treated differently, the more this happens the more she will be singled out as different. So now I'm thinking, is it possible for a child on the autistic spectrum to be happy in a mainstream school?
Going back to when my eldest son was Lucy's age. The school had told me they thought he had problems and had given me a number to ring to get him assessed. I buried my head in the sand, said the school didn't know what they were talking about. He was top of the class in most of his work, maybe he was just too clever and bored? Things gradually got worse but still I wouldn't accept that anything was wrong, although I knew in my heart that there was something not right.
Fast forward a few years to secondary school, he was bullied mercilessly, he refused to listen to any of the teachers and was always in trouble, he would run away on a daily basis from school and home, he was uncontrollable, he never completed any of the work he was given at school. I was called in for an urgent meeting, he was taken to see a psychologist and the outcome was a diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome. The school's response to this was to start assessing him for a Special Needs Statement and sticking him in the special needs class. This was all too much for my bright son and he ended up getting worse.
I took him out of school and refused to send him back. I said I would teach him myself but even after a ton of research I knew I wouldn't be able to cope with him. He was then given a home tutor and that worked nicely. He was co-operative and completed all work given to him. Sadly, it was not a long term option. Eventually he was given a place at a Special School, in a class with other children with high functioning autism. He never made a single friend there, and we still had episodes of unresponsiveness and running away, but overall he got on much better. He left with 5 GCSE's and went on to a Special College. Now he's doing a degree in accountancy. He's had a couple of work experience jobs but not a proper job yet. At 24 I'm happy with the way things have turned out. But, I don't want to go through all that again.
Another factor to take into consideration is Lucy's dad. With my son I was a single parent, so that meant I had to deal with it all by myself, but on the other hand I didn't have anyone to oppose me.
Lucy's dad has already expressed that he wants Lucy to stay in mainstream, and he won't even consider home schooling. (By the way, I did successfully homeschool my older NT daughter for 3 years)
So a sad little girl this morning has set me on a rollercoaster of emotions and now I'm completely stressed just thinking about the future.
I'd love some responses, here or on Twitter or #Specialsaturday #Special awareness.
Do you think that children with autism can thrive in a mainstream school, at primary or secondary level?
Do you think that it's best to treat children with high functioning autism the same as other children, or should they be treated differently?
The night before Lucy was anxious, refusing to go to school, refusing to go to sleep and generally being miserable and moody. yesterday morning, however, she was really excited and looking forward to going back. Dad got up and came with us so the girls got to ride their scooters to school.
Leila had to have two kisses and a cuddle before she left me but she was ok, not upset or anything. Lucy gave me a quick kiss on request and was a little tentative entering the school, but not too bad at all. I missed them all day and couldn't wait to pick them up, It was lovely to see them come out of school bubbly, happy and chatty...even Lucy!
Then after a couple of hours at home Lucy got moody again. Still she was very tired so we put it down to that and took them to bed. She wouldn't go to sleep again, insisting that she had to read first, then asking for the night light off when she has always had it on. Eventually she fell asleep but was up again at 5am.
She was moody again this morning and totally un co-operative. She wouldn't get washed or dressed for me, I ended up having to help her. She then had a tantrum because she wanted to take her scooter again, but I can't manage them on my own as I have the pushchair. (Dad was too tired to get up today)
On the way to school she finally told me what was bothering her. when they do p.e they have a timer with a buzzer that goes off at 5 mins. Anyone not ready in that time has to miss p.e. Lucy cannot get changed in 5 minutes, it's more like 15-20 minutes. She has poor co-ordination and concentration, getting dressed is a real trial for her, even though she is capable. It took us a long time to teach her to undress and dress so to us it's an achievement that she can actually do it. We don't try to make her do it quicker.
I've told her I will have a word with her teacher. I know that up until now she's been given a little longer than the others to get dressed. I've also told her that we will practice changing at home to see if we can get her to do it any quicker. She wasn't too pleased with that :/
Then it got me thinking. She's 7 years old now and it's starting to be more noticeable that she's not quite like the other children at school. It won't be long before the other children pick that up, if they haven't already. She does need to be treated differently, the more this happens the more she will be singled out as different. So now I'm thinking, is it possible for a child on the autistic spectrum to be happy in a mainstream school?
Going back to when my eldest son was Lucy's age. The school had told me they thought he had problems and had given me a number to ring to get him assessed. I buried my head in the sand, said the school didn't know what they were talking about. He was top of the class in most of his work, maybe he was just too clever and bored? Things gradually got worse but still I wouldn't accept that anything was wrong, although I knew in my heart that there was something not right.
Fast forward a few years to secondary school, he was bullied mercilessly, he refused to listen to any of the teachers and was always in trouble, he would run away on a daily basis from school and home, he was uncontrollable, he never completed any of the work he was given at school. I was called in for an urgent meeting, he was taken to see a psychologist and the outcome was a diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome. The school's response to this was to start assessing him for a Special Needs Statement and sticking him in the special needs class. This was all too much for my bright son and he ended up getting worse.
I took him out of school and refused to send him back. I said I would teach him myself but even after a ton of research I knew I wouldn't be able to cope with him. He was then given a home tutor and that worked nicely. He was co-operative and completed all work given to him. Sadly, it was not a long term option. Eventually he was given a place at a Special School, in a class with other children with high functioning autism. He never made a single friend there, and we still had episodes of unresponsiveness and running away, but overall he got on much better. He left with 5 GCSE's and went on to a Special College. Now he's doing a degree in accountancy. He's had a couple of work experience jobs but not a proper job yet. At 24 I'm happy with the way things have turned out. But, I don't want to go through all that again.
Another factor to take into consideration is Lucy's dad. With my son I was a single parent, so that meant I had to deal with it all by myself, but on the other hand I didn't have anyone to oppose me.
Lucy's dad has already expressed that he wants Lucy to stay in mainstream, and he won't even consider home schooling. (By the way, I did successfully homeschool my older NT daughter for 3 years)
So a sad little girl this morning has set me on a rollercoaster of emotions and now I'm completely stressed just thinking about the future.
I'd love some responses, here or on Twitter or #Specialsaturday #Special awareness.
Do you think that children with autism can thrive in a mainstream school, at primary or secondary level?
Do you think that it's best to treat children with high functioning autism the same as other children, or should they be treated differently?
Monday, 27 August 2012
Plea for old Mobile Phones
I've just joined a scheme in which you can exchange old mobile phones in return for an ipad. I believe that Lucy, my 7ry old daughter with autism, would benefit from having an ipad and some of the excellent apps that I've been reading about. I know she sometimes uses an ipad at school and her teacher has some special apps for her. She needs extra help with learning how to understand other people and communicating with them. She is verbal but doesn't understand social cues. Also, I believe that her education would be improved as she would put more effort into her work if she was doing it on an ipad. She definitely a gadget girl.
Unfortunately at this time buying an ipad for her is out of my budget, so I was happy to find this scheme run by Hearts and Minds. I would like to collect 175 phones for an ipad with the Grace app.
This is not going to be an easy task so I'm asking everyone everywhere to help if they can.
The phones do not have to be working but they do need to be less than 10 years old and have a battery. I do not need any sim cards.
I have entry forms for a competition where you could win your mortgage paid for a year which I will fill in for anyone kind enough to donate a phone.
I am willing to pay postage for mobiles sent to me. They don't need to be in boxes or have any special packaging (just bubble wrap and brown paper would do) and they can be posted second class, or as cheaply as possible.
So, can you help? Do you know anyone who might be able to help that you could pass this message on to? If you can I would love to hear from you at okesanne (at) gmail.com
Thank you xx
Unfortunately at this time buying an ipad for her is out of my budget, so I was happy to find this scheme run by Hearts and Minds. I would like to collect 175 phones for an ipad with the Grace app.
This is not going to be an easy task so I'm asking everyone everywhere to help if they can.
The phones do not have to be working but they do need to be less than 10 years old and have a battery. I do not need any sim cards.
I have entry forms for a competition where you could win your mortgage paid for a year which I will fill in for anyone kind enough to donate a phone.
I am willing to pay postage for mobiles sent to me. They don't need to be in boxes or have any special packaging (just bubble wrap and brown paper would do) and they can be posted second class, or as cheaply as possible.
So, can you help? Do you know anyone who might be able to help that you could pass this message on to? If you can I would love to hear from you at okesanne (at) gmail.com
Thank you xx
Saturday, 18 August 2012
The Invisible Disability
I don't tell everyone that we meet that Lucy has autism. Many of her friends and their mum's at school are unaware. At the age of 7 (almost) we can get away with it. I tried to get away with it much longer with her older brother but things turned really bad when he was 12 years old I don't want to make the same mistake.
Lucy is verbal, intelligent and looks normal. Occasionally she will glaze over and become distant and it takes a while to get through to her but most people will take no notice. Sometimes she gets a little over excited and an a little flappy, not an unusual amount though and again, most people will take no notice. She is un-coordinated and clumsy, she has a strange gait when walking and running and sometimes performs strange actions. At 7 yrs this is starting to be a little more noticeable but we are still getting away with it.
Lucy talks out of turn, ignores people, repeats what you say, talks about what she wants to talk about and doesn't really interact, talks incessantly about the things that interest her, makes funny noises all of which you can get away with at 7.
When do we stop getting away with it? When does it become apparent that Lucy can't help these behaviours and is not just immature. Sadly, I don't think it will be much longer and we have to start thinking about how to deal with it, and make things easier for her.
Lucy's older brother didn't have any physical problems but Lucy also has Hypermobility Syndrome and weak core muscles. These contribute to the strange way she walks and talks but also affect simple climbing ability. This summer our visits to the park have involved Lucy's 5 yr old sister and 2 year old brother doing everything by themselves, while I have had to help Lucy with climbing things. One park in particular has a slide/climbing frame that you can only access by climbing up a ramp holding on to a rope. While the other children, big and small, were zooming up with ease, Lucy just couldn't manage it and I had to give her a shove. Then yesterday we were at an event with face painting and the children were sitting on high stools to have their faces done. Lucy could not climb on to the chair and the lady who was about to paint her seemed totally shocked. I helped her up and went back to help her down afterwards.
So, although Lucy may not have the traits of a severely autistic child, and doesn't look obviously disabled, she does draw attention to herself.
Do we carry on as though this is all normal? My son suffered terrible bullying and even now I worry if he goes out alone (which he doesn't do very often.) How am I going to make things different for Lucy?
Lucy is verbal, intelligent and looks normal. Occasionally she will glaze over and become distant and it takes a while to get through to her but most people will take no notice. Sometimes she gets a little over excited and an a little flappy, not an unusual amount though and again, most people will take no notice. She is un-coordinated and clumsy, she has a strange gait when walking and running and sometimes performs strange actions. At 7 yrs this is starting to be a little more noticeable but we are still getting away with it.
Lucy talks out of turn, ignores people, repeats what you say, talks about what she wants to talk about and doesn't really interact, talks incessantly about the things that interest her, makes funny noises all of which you can get away with at 7.
When do we stop getting away with it? When does it become apparent that Lucy can't help these behaviours and is not just immature. Sadly, I don't think it will be much longer and we have to start thinking about how to deal with it, and make things easier for her.
Lucy's older brother didn't have any physical problems but Lucy also has Hypermobility Syndrome and weak core muscles. These contribute to the strange way she walks and talks but also affect simple climbing ability. This summer our visits to the park have involved Lucy's 5 yr old sister and 2 year old brother doing everything by themselves, while I have had to help Lucy with climbing things. One park in particular has a slide/climbing frame that you can only access by climbing up a ramp holding on to a rope. While the other children, big and small, were zooming up with ease, Lucy just couldn't manage it and I had to give her a shove. Then yesterday we were at an event with face painting and the children were sitting on high stools to have their faces done. Lucy could not climb on to the chair and the lady who was about to paint her seemed totally shocked. I helped her up and went back to help her down afterwards.
So, although Lucy may not have the traits of a severely autistic child, and doesn't look obviously disabled, she does draw attention to herself.
Do we carry on as though this is all normal? My son suffered terrible bullying and even now I worry if he goes out alone (which he doesn't do very often.) How am I going to make things different for Lucy?
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