Wednesday, 29 September 2010

7 weeks and smiling

Yes, Joseph is now smiling, he is so cute. Graham has taken a photo but on his phone, we'll have to try and get a good one on the camera. It's tricky though, he'll smile at you while you talk to him but as soon as you hold up a camera or phone he's more interested in looking at that and stops smiling!

We took him for another hip scan yesterday and he got the all clear. I just knew he'd be ok, I was shocked they thought there was a problem in the first place.

There is a pattern forming now, not quite a routine but hopefully the basis of one. Once Leila is full time at nursery (next week) I might start making life around him more of a routine and see how he fits in.

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

6 weeks old

Time is going by so quickly and Joseph is growing so big already. I had him weighed at baby clinic last week and he was nearly 12lb. I've had to start buying bigger nappies and I've already started putting aside clothes that no longer fit him. Today I sorted out some clothes that are a size bigger as I think he'll be wearing them very soon. So he may have been smaller than my girls at birth but he's catching up now.

He continues to be greedy but I think he's slowing down a little. I'm getting used to his feeding habits and know when to give him a little more or a little less. As he likes feeding regularly I've reduced the amount I give him at each feed, but give in to him when he wants feeding. It's all new to me and I've worried constantly about how much I'm giving him. I never worried at all with the girls who were exclusively breast fed. Sometimes it seemed like they were constantly feeding but I never worried they were having too much.

I'm still waiting for that first real smile. He looks gorgeous when he gives a windy smile so I'm really getting impatient to see his face light up and him smile just for me. He is taking more notice of things around him. He follows with his eyes and even turns his head to sounds. He also likes a bit of kicking and punching.

His sleeping patterns are getting worse not better. He is sleeping a little (very little) bit longer at night, but he only cat naps for about 10 minutes at a time during the day. I'm hoping things will change once Leila is at nursery full time. With the girls away he should get a little more peace. I don't think I realised before just how noisy the girls were.

Monday, 13 September 2010

Five Weeks Old

Remember that hip scan last week that I was really not worried about? Well, it turns out that Joseph has an immature hip and we have to go back for another scan on 28th September. Fingers crossed it's ok by then, but if there is a problem at least it will be dealt with early.

Joseph has now almost entirely swapped from breast to bottle. The guilty feelings are slipping away but it's not the easy option. Getting up in the middle of the night and making bottles while he screams his head off is not nice at all. With the girls it was a quick pull into the bed and I didn't even have to be properly awake for them to get their fill and go back to sleep. He does sleep for slightly longer between feeds though. He's a greedy baby so I still offer him the breast inbetween bottles occasionally, but he's now showing a preference for the bottles and will get fussy nursing. I knew it would happen, I expected him to completely changed to bottles by now so why does it feel so wrong?

Monday, 6 September 2010

Four Weeks

Joseph looks so big already! The health visitor weighed him last Friday and he was 9lb 15 oz, he'd put on almost a lb in just one week. It's not surprising how greedy he is though. I've been increasing his bottles as he seems much more settled on them, and now he has four a day with breast feeds inbetween. I know that at this stage if it wasn't for the bottles I'd be nursing him almost constantly, I feel glad I'm missing that but still feeling guilty at not exclusively breast feeding for longer. One of the reasons for not exclusively breast feeding was so that his daddy could do feeds and bond more with him, but the novelty of that soon wore off, typical really.

Physically I'm feeling much better. I'm still a little bruised and sore. The wound is fine so long as I don't sit in one position too long, then it sort of sticks to itself and hurts when I move. The soreness is internal but it comes and goes, I'm not sure if it's normal but it's still only 4 weeks and It can take 6 or longer to recover properly.

Emotionally I'm up and down which is to be expected. The more sleep I get the better I can cope with things, and at the moment sleep is something I'm really lacking so I'm pretty moody most of the time. I'm feeling really down about the birth, I just can't get over it. I miss being pregnant and I wanted to feel my labour and birth, I feel as though I've really missed out. I know that the most important thing is that Joseph is here safe and well but it doesn't help much really.

Lucy is back at school now and Graham is helping out by taking her and picking her up, and it's much easier with just Leila around. Leila should be starting nursery next week, we find out on Wednesday. I'm going to miss her so much.

Tomorrow we have to take Joseph back to the hospital for a scan on his hips. This is a normal procedure for a breach baby so I'm not worried. He didn't turn breach until the last minute anyway so I'm pretty sure his hips are going to be just fine.