Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Getting Fed Up Now

Ok, this pregnancy has gone really fast and I was quite happy to go to full term, but now suddenly I feel like I've had enough. I still love my huge huge bump and feeling Joseph wriggling about inside, and I know I'll miss that when he's out, but I'm just fed up now and want to get on with it and meet my little man.

It might be because of the problems I've experienced, I'm really fed up of going to the hospital and now we are on the 'final countdown' it seems I'm there even more than ever (two appointments this week and the next booked for Monday.)

It might be because I'm fed up of feeling tired and uncomfortable and just want my body back so I can see my feet again, bend down, pick up the girls etc etc.

It might be because I have suddenly developed this incredible fear that something is going to be wrong, or go wrong and I'm so scared I just want it over and safely.

All pretty typical for someone that's over 38 weeks pregnant.

Monday, 26 July 2010

Another Appointment

I was back at the hospital today to see my consultant. I don't have an infection so he wants to make sure it's not diabeties. I have to go back to the hospital first thing in the morning (before eating or drinking) for a blood sugar test. If I do have diabeties then he wants to induce me straight away, but if not he said he doesn't want me to go over my due date, so little man Joseph will definately be here within 14 days !!!

Tomorrow is Leila's third birthday, I'm a bit fed up that I have to leave her to go to the hospital but  as it's only a blood test I'm hoping I won't be long. She is having a playhouse for the garden so fingers crossed for some sunshine tomorrow. We are not having a party but she is having a few little friends over for lunch and birthday cake. I can't wait to see my girls in their new dresses too.

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

Growth Scan and other things

First a catch up! Joseph has been kicking and moving like a trouper since my scare last week, little tinker just had a couple of days off but now he's back to his footballing ways.

Also, my rented TENS machine arrived. I've give it the once over so I'm familiar with it. It's a bit different to ones I've used before but no more complicated. This time I've got a MamaTENS, it's a lot smaller too which is nice, just hope I don't lose it.

As I said last week the midwife sent me for a growth scan and that's where I've been today. You don't get to see much at this stage (37 weeks) as everything is so big. We did see his head and his leg, and the sonographer showed us his heart, kidneys and bladder. All was well and he was measuring about 7lb 6oz which is pretty big! Then the sonographer checked the placenta which was fine and the liquor, which was not fine as there was too much. So I was sent to see a consultant at the clinic.

Clinic procedure is to first check blood pressure (fine) and urine which had protein in. It was getting late and all the drs had left so I was sent to triage to be seen. It's becoming like a second home to me now.

I had to have blood tests and I have an appointment to go back on Monday. They are not sure what's wrong but they suspected either gestational diabetes (too late to test me now) or an infection. I came home very late and feeling very deflated again. I was so looking forward to seeing Joseph again but every time I have an appointment there seems like there is something new to worry about.

I guess it would be best if he came out sooner rather than later as it looks like my body is about to give up. But I've got this far so surely I'm not that bad.

FollowFriday on two-become-four

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Ante Natal Blues

Had my 36 week check up today. First problem occured when they came to measure baby. My chart is all over the place, first he was big, then he didn't grow, then he caught up, then 2 weeks ago he was measuring 36 weeks and now this week he's only measuring 33 weeks. The midwife explained that it's an unreliable way of measuring (fundal height) but because of the differences she's sending me for a growth scan.

Then she asked about movements and I had to tell her there had been a reduction. In fact yesterday I got worried when he didn't move all day, then around 3pm I had a glass of really cold water and he rewarded me with a few kicks. It was the same today, he didn't kick me or move all night and this morning I felt a little movement but then nothing up until my appointment which was at 2pm. So midwife sent me off to triage for monitoring. No soon as I was hooked up to the machine he went bonkers and barely stopped moving, he kicked the monitor off twice! I swear all babies need to get them going is to be hooked up to a monitor. Of course when I got home he didn't move again until just now, he's having a little jiggle. They said at the hospital that unless he starts moving more regular then I'll have to go in for daily monitoring. No thanks, move little man, move, move move.

I'm just waiting for my TENS to arrive and the school term to end then he's very welcome to come out and meet us.

Friday, 9 July 2010

Too Old To Breastfeed

Ok, I've been debating whether or not to post this but it's something that has been on my mind since I first got pregnant. I've had loads of time to think about it and I've made up my mind what to do but I thought maybe it was time to share my feelings, because you always feel better when you share.

I've breastfed all my kids, no1 not for long because I had loads of problems and when I got mastitis on top of already having a cyst I just gave up, the pain was too much. My three girls have all been breastfed until 6 months old. The last two exclusively because that's how it's done now, you don't start giving anything else until then you know!

My last little girl wouldn't take to the bottle so I carried on breastfeeding her. Soon it became just a way of life and the feeding continued past her first birthday. After about 18 months the nursing (As it was no longer feeding really) continued but just for sleep times and first thing in the morning. I was sure we'd be finished by two years but no we carried on, she depended on it like other babies depend on their dummies or bottles, and to be honest I didn't mind. I felt a real bond with her, one I didn't especially want to hurry to break. Then I got pregnant and I thought she'd be put off my milk as I believe it tastes different, but she wasn't. By this time we were nursing at bedtime only but it carried on and it didn't look like I was ever going to be able to stop. Finally I decided I'd had enough and I was prepared to stop I just had to convince her. It was April and we had a little holiday planned. During the week we were away she didn't ask to be nursed once and went to sleep unaided. When we got home she wanted to get back into her routine but I told her no. We had a few tears the first night and again the second but that was it. She's been fine ever since.

Now, I believe this baby deserves the best start in life just like all the others so I am going to breast feed, but for a few weeks maximum. Then I'm switching to formula. It feels like a dirty confession. Not because I have anything against formula feeding mum's, I know that breastfeeding isn't for everyone, and everyone has a right to feed their baby in whatever way they wish. But, because I'm a breastfeeder, I'm experienced, I can do it with ease and apart from first son have never had any problems. So why should I just give up on this one?

Honestly, I think I'm too old. There I've said it. I'm 44, going on 45 this year, I'm too old to be having babies really. To have to breastfeed in public, no matter how discreet I can be, is an idea that is mortifying me, and I know from experience that unless I decided not to leave the house for 6 months it would be something that I would have to face. So, you may say, why not express? Well, that's a good one, I've tried with all my babies to express but it's something I've never gotten the hang of. Plus, I think it's darned hard work just trying to fit in expressing time when you already have a big family and a newborn to look after. No thanks, not for me.

Also, I still have my two eldest living with me and they don't like me breastfeeding. Up until now I've just told them to deal with it, but it's always been a bit of a nightmare. I just don't think I can deal with it this time. I don't want to hide away, I don't want to do it in public, I do want what's best for my baby. So the best I can come up with is a few weeks of nursing then on to the formula.

Monday, 5 July 2010

35 days to go!

Today I am exactly 35 weeks.
I think I'm prepared, well almost. I've decided that today it's time to get Joseph's bedding sorted out. I'm using a moses basket that I had for Lucy but I have a new rocking crib too. All the baby clothes are washed and now I'm in that panic stage, do I have enough? I have loads of babygro's from tiny baby to 3-6 months size. Covered in every event :-) I don't have many outfits but then I don't usually bother until baby is at least few weeks old. Especially in the summer, babygro's and bodysuits will do fine. It's going to be weird buying boys clothes, it's been 22 years since my last son was born!

My hospital bag is packed. I travel light, just the bear essentials. I post on a forum and I can't believe the size of some of the lists people have posted. I'm planning on a one night stay (depending on time of arrival). If it's any longer then Graham will have to come home and fetch more stuff. I have one medium sized bag and won't even take my handbag, there is a large pocket I can fit my purse and phone in. I will pop in some snacks this time though, I've not done that before and I know you can hungry waiting for the hospital to feed you.

Every day now I'm getting twinges, the braxton hicks get pretty strong at times, but I'm old hand at this to know when it's the real thing or not. I'm quite excited about the labour and birth, it's something I love doing. Oh, I know it hurts but it's one of those things you have to endure because the results are just so amazing. I don't mind pain when it has a purpose. I'm just waiting now for my TENS to arrive, it will all seem so imminant then.

Will Joseph arrive early like his sister Lucy (38 weeks) or on time like his sister's Leila and Cassie-Ann....or because he's a boy maybe he will be late like his big brother Craig? I have a feeling he will be early....who knows? Que sera sera

I just know I can't wait to meet him now :-)

Friday, 2 July 2010

Introducing Baby Number Five

Hi there, I'm currently 34 weeks and 4 days pregnant with baby number five and thought it was time I gave him his own blog. Well, it won't just be him I write about because I do actually have four other children as well :-)

I had two of my children in my 20s then I had a little break of 16 years before having baby number three with a new partner. Soon after came baby number four and that's where I was planning to stay. After all, time was catching up with me and I knew too well of the risks of pregnancy when your older. BUT, one day I said my partner, if we got the girls (baby no3 and 4) a bunk bed we'd be able to fit another bed in there.....ooops, I was pregnant within a month!!!

Let me introduce my 'babies' to you.
First along was my son Craig, now 22 yrs
Second was my daughter Cassie-Ann now 21 yrs
Third was my daughter Lucy Rose now 4 yrs
Fourth was my daughter Leila Jean now 2 yrs
Five is another boy and we are going to call him Joseph Frederick, he's due on 9th August, 38 days from now.

So, as I said I'm over 34 weeks now and time seems to have flown by. I found out I was pregnant just before Christmas. I'd been decorating the living room all week and it was wearing me out. I couldn't understand why I had no energy. Then at the end of the week I realised I'd been so busy I'd missed the non arrival of my period and I was 5 days late. As I'm never late I sent the other half out to get a test and it was positive. We kept it quiet until after Christmas but soon had to start telling as I started showing pretty early on, about 11 weeks! That's what happens when you have loads of kids your body just kind of gives up, saying here we go again and pop goes the belly.

Fist concerns about the pregnancy begin when I had the triple blood test at 12 weeks. It came back high and we went to the hospital to talk about further testing. We decided against it as we wouldn't terminate anyway.

Everything then went smoothly up to my 20 week scan. With my girls I'd had a fraughtful first trimester with loads of bleeding, but this one was plain sailing, I didn't even have morning sickness. Then at 20 weeks baby looked absolutely fine and we were told he was a boy. Then they spotted a fibroid rather close to my cervix and said it may cause problems. The sonographer fetched someone else to look who then spotted that my cervix was funneling (opening and closing at the top) The consultant told me that I was at risk of miscarriage at any time. I came out feeling really distressed.

The next day I woke up feeling really ill and ended up back at the hospital. It turned out I'd got a UTI and I was given anti-biotics. I was offered a cervical stitch because of the funneling but I declined as I thought the risk of the stitch was higher than my risk of miscarriage. Then even though I was really ill for a few days I managed to regain my positivity.

I didn't miscarry (obviously or I wouldn't be writing this now) and things seem to carry on quite smoothly. At 28 weeks I was taken off high risk at the hospital which meant I could have my ante natal care with my local mw at the end of my street. At 31 weeks the mw was concerned that baby hadn't grown since 28 weeks so she had me back two weeks later to check. He was fine, he'd caught up again, but then she spotted my fibroid had grown so sent me to the hospital again. The consultant was very dismissive and said it was unlikely the fibroid had been felt by the mw and it was pointless scanning because they wouldn't find anything. So now I just have to wait and see what happens at the birth.

And there we have it, a long first post but it's been a long time. Soon I will be meeting my little man and I want to share the journey.